Fucked up Art I did as a Teen

So I recently came across a small pile of art I did back in the 90’s. I had mostly completely forgotten about all of it. I have spent some time selecting the most beautiful, well-executed and thought provoking pieces. Looking back I wonder why I didn’t keep up on my artistic talents. Who knows how many world famous galleries I’d be in today?

/s. So much /s.

First up we have this… thing:


So this is an interesting thought experiment in the existentialism presented in the darkest corners of our internal landscape.

But you can’t just sit back and enjoy something like this. You have to stick your nose right up to it, much like I must have done when I rendered this masterpiece (I never wore my glasses).



Clearly that lurching feeling in  your stomach comes from envy. “What brilliance… I never could have drawn that well as a teen!” you must thing. Surely. Right?

Let’s not dwell too long, we have a couple more things to look at!


For fuck’s sake. What in the world…?!

I used to draw those flower formation things with a compass all. the. time. Surely it must represent my desire to grow and please authority, while still holding onto a wild and dangerous sense of self.

Again, a close up is in order…


Attention to detail… unrivaled.

And my most favorite treasure of this timeless collection:


Yes, “thank you Master”, you say, tears in your eyes and a swelling, gagging, sense of gratitude in your chest.

You’re welcome.