The wonderful world of press-on nails!

Hey all! I’m still in mid-move (yay apartment hunting) and only have minimal nail stuff on me but I figured I could kind of get back into nail blogging a little bit. Today I bring you a gothy manicure… on fake nails!

So I’ve been curious about fake nails for a very long time. I always loved the idea of having nice long nails that I didn’t have to worry about breaking at the drop of a hat. I also wanted nails I wouldn’t have to try to shape all the time. My natural nails are very thin, peely, and brittle. I found taking biotin helped a little and using a couple nail strengthening products helped some… but I was still curious about fakies.

It took me so long to try them out because:

I’m hella lazy. And forgetful. It was always hard remembering to use all the nail strengthening/growth products. But once I had them on I realized that it was just stupid quick and easy to do and require very little maintenance. I did have nails pop off during the first week and a half but it wasn’t a big deal like I thought it would be. It was quick to pop them back on and maybe I’ll discover techniques to make them stay better.

Money!  Yes I know the initial cost is not bad at all, less than $20, but if you consider all the majillions of other things I want to do… I just couldn’t spare anything to toss at my nails. I now have the means to slurge a little here and there so I did!

I worried they would look super fake and just not suit me. Well they don’t look too bad (especially when I push my cuticles back) and since I’m rediscovering my gothiness, I think they fit right into my daily look. I don’t think I’d rock these if I went back to my mundane style of dress, even with plain ol’ everyday manicures.

I also held back because of waste. I hate disposable plastic crap. The last thing I wanted was to add more crap that won’t biodegrade to the landfills. I’ll admit I haven’t gotten over this. I feel guilty using these. But I managed to wear the first  set for almost 2 weeks. I could have kept wearing them but one of the nails split. And I could have just replaced just that one but I wanted a fresh start with a new design. I believe I may be able to put a complete set aside in a baggy and use them later. Which sounds nasty… so I don’t know.

Kind of along the same lines of waste and laziness: I was really worried that they would be popping off left and right. Well I was a bit right about that. I didn’t keep track of how often they came off, but if it was a lot it would have really bothered me because I’m hella lazy. I was more surprised about how much they went through and the times they could have popped off but didn’t!

My last and final hangup was… awesome nails aren’t a necessity. They’re not food or water, they’re just something stupid and silly, why should I bother? I kept seeing these almond shaped nails everywhere and thought they were just so… perfect, elegant, edgy. And then I saw one of my favorite goth YouTubers, Black Friday, was using them. There was no resisting after that and I’m glad I took the plunge.

Without further ado, a not too helpful picture:


But wait! You may say. Aren’t they too long? Isn’t it hard to do anything? Why, that just isn’t practical! DIdn’t you think about how hard it would be to do everyday things?!

Actually I did think about how hard it might be to get used to them. It wasn’t a worry really. I’ve had my natural nails fairly long before. They never lasted long at that length so I didn’t have time to get used to them but I still didn’t worry for some reason. I just knew it would be worth it.

Typing was… tricky. Especially the first day. I was mostly used to it by the third day. Now it’s like they’re not even there. You couldn’t have paid me to type this much during those first few days. Bathroom duties were… weird. I’m now used to that. Touching things was weird and I still like to just caress things with my nails sometimes.

The only 2 things I have a problem with is: opening pop tab cans… which I’ve only had to do twice. The first time I think it ripped off the nail. The 2nd time I just used something for leverage. No biggie. The second thing is: Buttons. Like… pushy buttons, not shirt buttons. The 2 buttons in question are the power button on my tablet (only when it’s sitting in it’s case), and the button on my luggage handle that you press to get it to telescope out. Both of those situations are completely doable. I just have to remember the angle to go at for the tablet, and just be really careful with the luggage.

Other than that, the benefits are:

I feel like a fucking bad ass.

The fakies are thicker than my real nails so not only do they not break in a good wind, but when I have an itch, I don’t fuck my skin up! So scratching is sooo much more enjoyable and less ouchy-bleedy. This was extra super nice when we were staying at a place with bedbugs and I was being eaten alive >.>

I have the shape I’ve always wanted and I don’t need to do much to maintain them!

I don’t have to worry about little snaggy bits grabbing and pulling my hair! OMG IT’S SO NICE. But to be honest if I’m not careful gluing a nail back on it will sit in such a way that it will grab my hair. But I’m learning to make that not happen.

Nail polish lasts 1000x longer! I think this is maybe because the fakies don’t flex, which would then cause the polish to flex and weaken? I don’t know. Don’t ask me. I got tired of the polish I had on long before I needed to redo anything. And I’m talking no base or top coat involved (unless you count matte top coat as an actual top coat).

My real nails are protected. It’s only been 2ish weeks but there’s been times when I could have done some major damage to my real nails if the fakies weren’t there. Especially the one time I was pulling my luggage, it suddenly got stuck but I kept moving and… let’s just say I thought for a second or two that the fakies took some realies with them, that’s how bad it hurt when they ripped off. If my real nails were that long… *shudders*

Those are the benefits I can think of off the top of my head. I should probably end this post now with what I used:


Nails are ECBASKET by Nails Gaga applied with Kiss Maximum Speed nail glue.

I painted 2 coats of Black Diamond by China Glaze and let it dry as long as I could wait. Then a coat or Orly Matte Top. And then I did 2 passes with OPI Big Apple Red, in a dabbly draggy manner, on just the tips, trying not to go too much past half the length of the nail.

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